Welcome to my new blog post!
I was watching TV the other day when I saw 2 people arguing. One of them said to the other:
« I thought you changed but I was wrong, you’re the same, you haven’t changed ». It was brutal, it was more than an accusation, it was a verdict.
This sentence in the middle of the argument stayed with me and I started thinking about it.
What does it really mean « you haven’t change »?
When we want someone to change, there is an expectation. It also means that we don’t accept and love the person for who she is, unconditionally and with an open heart.
So, there is a possibility that with time we will fall into an inauthentic or toxic relationship. We put up with the person, hoping that one day she will change. I call it wearing a mask which leads in turn to frustration, resentment, anger and disappointment.
We all carry wounds, we all have our personal story. The process of growth is to acknowledge it, to accept it and to make friend and peace with it. It’s how we can move on and ultimately find contentment within ourselves. The only way to rich this goal is to cultivate love, compassion and patience towards self and then spread it out to others.
So, next time you tell someone or someone tells you that you should change or haven’t changed, take a deep breath and open your heart and mind.
It maybe means you both need to heal some wounds.
Going through changes requires a lot of emotional strength, self-discipline and humility. It isn’t an instant process, it’s a journey and some people will heal quicker than others.
Be patient, listen to the pain, have compassion, be there and if you can’t it probably means it’s not the right space for you, right here, right now.
See you soon,